More little known facts

Larry the Cable Guy was awarded a full scholarship to Yale but never received the notice because his letter carrier chose that day to go on a drunken binge and fed all that day’s mail to hogs on his route. Larry doesn’t hold a grudge.

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Best known for plundering and pillaging on the high seas, many pirates of the 17th and 18th centuries were also skilled interior decorators and their talents often saved them from the gallows.

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Recently an uncharted comet came quite close to the earth authorities revealed. They won’t comment on just how close it came, but the scientist that discovered it at the last possible moment has named it, “Holycowwhattheheckwasthat”.

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A women in Iowa was home alone when she had an epileptic seizure. Her talking parrot somehow got the phone off the hook, tapped out 911 with his beak, and contacted emergency services. Unfortunately, his pronunciation of ‘epileptic seizure’ sounded like ‘electric sea horse’ and no help arrived. Stupid bird.

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Historians have known since 1945 that Columbus’ first trip to the new world actually occurred 2 years earlier than previously recorded. But because ‘In fourteen hundred ninety / Columbus sailed the ocean blue’ is such a terrible rhyme, the correction was never made public.

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The dictionary became much easier to use after they invented alphabetical order.

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In 1873 a Frenchman tried to circumnavigate the earth in a hot air balloon by floating above one spot for 24 hours and waiting for the earth’s rotation to move the earth under him. It didn’t work, but the next day, all his friends messed with his head by telling him it was the day before he left and for a while he thought he’d invented time travel.

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Mothers with small children don’t seem to appreciate jokes concerning said children and staple guns.

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According to most film critics, Ocean’s 1 through 10 weren’t all that great. It’s remarkable that the franchise ever got to 11.

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