Why the Post Office is going Broke


What, need more? Imagine some of these scenarios happening.

You’re at the airport checking in, and you realize you have $900 extra, so you tell the ticket clerk, I’d like to bump up to 1st class please.

I’m sorry Sir, you’ll need to go home, change into nicer clothes, come back, and then will take your huge amount of money for a slightly more comfortable flight which will still get you to your destination at the same time.

— or —

You go to a fancy restaurant, and even though there’s a parking lot right next door you pull up to the valet parking stand.

I’m sorry Sir, you’ll need to get a better car, BMW or better, then we’ll be happy to take your $10 plus tip for less than 2 minutes work.

— or this —

You’re at a nice bar, and you order a single malt scotch.

Oh I’m so sorry Sir, single malt is for discriminating tastes and you just don’t look sophisticated enough. I’ll bring you a beer.

Why would none of those events happen? Because business want to make money. When you buy something more expensive than you really need, it’s called an added value and businesses make huge profits on those items and services, so they aren’t very likely to turn you down.

But then we come to the United States Post Office. They have a service we use all the time, Priority Mail. Priority is relatively inexpensive, they provide free boxes, pick up our packages at the door, and we print and pay for postage on line, and the package arrives in 2 to 3 business days. No problem there.

Today, we had occasion to send a package Express Mail, which is their guaranteed next day service. At a considerably higher rate, but it gets there quicker, so I have no argument about paying more for faster service.

What has my panties in a knot is they won’t take their own Priority box, and upgrade it to Express.

I’m sorry Sir, if we use the Priority box, our lazy-ass postal workers* will put it on the Priority plane, no matter how much extra you pay.

Gee, if only God would invent some device that could be attached onto the box to notify lazy-ass postal workers of the change. Perhaps a piece of paper with some adhesive and special writing that reads,  ‘Express Mail’ printed on it. They could call it, oh I don’t know, how about ‘a sticker’? Wait a minute, we don’t need to bother God with that, we already have such an invention!

Now if someone would notify the lazy and stupid-ass Post Office, maybe they wouldn’t be losing money hand over fist by chasing people over to FedEX and UPS.

And by the way, I know it’s United States Postal Service now. I’m just not seeing the service part, so I downgraded them to their old title.

* Author’s Note: In my anger and frustration, I called postal workers lazy and stupid above. I regret that choice of phrasing and apologize. What prompted those remarks, was the post office manager who stated that his workers would not look at the postage, but only the box, implying himself that the workers were unreliable. My anger and frustration should have been more clearly directed at the bureaucratic policy makers and not the postal workers that just carry out said stupid policies. In my opinion and experience, most postal workers do an honest day’s work for their pay and they have my utmost respect.

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