Straight, Gay, or Convertible: Who gives a Frick?

I try to keep my posts PG rated for the most part, hence the euphemism in the title. But I am so sick of people judging and hating because someone is or isn’t or maybe is, maybe not be gay.

Lots of people assume I am gay. I don’t care. Some assume I’m straight. I don’t care about that either. Either way, there’s nothing offensive about their assumption, because it isn’t OFFENSIVE to be whatever it is you happen to be. As far as I can see, the only people that need to know my sexuality are the ones that want to sleep with me.  First, I’m off the market because I only sleep with one person now and forever more, so the question is moot. And second, even if I was free to date, you better be prepared to buy me dinner and a movie before you even talk about it. And I don’t mean rent a video and go to McDonald’s. I mean a real indoor movie and dinner at Olive Garden or better. Even in my promiscuous days,  I had my standards.

So I think from now on, if anyone actually asks me, I’ll just say, “Hmmm…  haven’t thought about it in a while. What do you think?” And then just agree with whatever the hell they say.

They want a better answer than that, they better feed me.


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